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Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
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