I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
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You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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