she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
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