Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
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I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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