I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize