Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
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I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
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Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
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