My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize