Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cat food counts as protein by the way
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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