Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
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