Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize