the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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