he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
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