something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize