dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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