Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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