If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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