Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
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she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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