I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
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