This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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