Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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