I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
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he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
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THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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