matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
someone owes me an orgasm
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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