And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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