i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
We smell like vodka and hangover
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