And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize