I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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