yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
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Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
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Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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