you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize