Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Someone came in the potted fern
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize