and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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