i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
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What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
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Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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