He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize