The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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