oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
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