I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
soo... how was my night?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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