I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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