I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize