And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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