God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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