Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
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He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
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Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
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