Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Another day, another engagement, another cat
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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