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1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
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