Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
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What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize