i jhust puked up my retainher.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize