I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize