Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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