it hurts more in the daytime
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
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i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
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