I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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