I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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