OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize